Love and Lies: An Essay on Truthfulness, Deceit, and the Growth and Care of Erotic Love by Clancy MartinA provocative and unsettling look at the nature of love and deception
Is it possible to love well without lying? At least since Socratess discourse on love in Platos Symposium, philosophers have argued that love can lead us to the truth—about ourselves and the ones we love. But in the practical experience of erotic love—and perhaps especially in marriage—we find that love and lies often work hand in hand, and that it may be difficult to sustain long-term romantic love without deception, both of oneself and of others.
Drawing on contemporary philosophy, psychoanalysis and cognitive neuroscience, his own personal experience, and such famed and diverse writers on love as Shakespeare, Stendhal, Proust, Adrienne Rich, and Raymond Carver, Clancy Martin—himself divorced twice and married three times—explores how love, truthfulness, and deception work together in contemporary life and society. He concludes that learning how to love and loving well inevitably requires lying, but also argues that the best love relationships draw us slowly and with difficulty toward honesty and trust.
Love and Lies is a relentlessly honest book about the difficulty of love, which is certain to both provoke and entertain.
Can Lying ever be Kind?
Essay on Is it Right or Wrong to Lie?
There are people in this world who lie to harm. There are others who lie habitually, seemingly unable or unwilling to tell the truth. Most people do their best to tell the truth and find it difficult to lie, but end up doing so when circumstances seem to demand it--when they need to save face or "protect" themselves from punishment. The first type of person is best dealt with under the topic of "meanness," while the second type is best left to the psychoanalyst or psychologist. It's the third type of lying that belongs here, for that's the type that keeps us from enjoying our days for all that they're worth--an aberration in our behavior that pulls us down, makes us feel horrible, causes fear that wasn't there before, and has the potential to harm relationships that mean a great deal to us. Lying pulls us down, for when we don't tell the truth, we're bowing to pressure of some sort, and we're no longer acting in a way that's natural to us--we're being forced by circumstance to do something that we wouldn't normally do. Worse, that something is one of the things that we get upset at when people do it to us, so we start to see ourselves as hypocrites.
Rating: Better Essays. Open Document. Click the button above to view the complete essay, speech, term paper, or research paper. Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly. I did not do it, I swear. We hear people tell us throughout our lives as we know what they did, but they are people that lie right to us when the truth would not even be as bad as they make it out to be.
Is it right or wrong to lie?
Is it right or wrong to lie? This specific issue had been discussed throughout the whole world for years, and years, and it depends on the opinions of each and every one of us, to decide whether it is right or wrong to lie to others. Human has an instinct to lie. In different situations, lies are used in different ways. In this paper I am going to argue that telling a small lie that would cause no great harm to a friend in order to spare their feelings is an acceptable thing to do. I am going to examine this issue through the perspective of important philosophers Jeremy Bentham Utilitarian , then through Immanuel Kant Deontology.